Still Unemployed

I am still jobless!

I know what you're thinking! Apply to a theme park! They're always hiring! Well. That would be a fantastic idea, if I didn't practically have an anxiety attack every time I had to drive somewhere that's more than five miles away because my car likes to break down for no apparent reason. Really. It has been looked at by my family's mechanic at least ten times, and being the honest, non-evil mechanic that he is, he tells us that he doesn't know what it is. He doesn't just pick some random car part out and say "This is broke," and justify the $800 charge by saying "The reason the labor is so much is that I have to go inside the car, and use my eyes to look at it. And also I have to, maybe, go under another car part, and I'll probably have to use some tools to do it..."

So anyway, I'm pretty poor. My dad has been supporting me this whole summer because he's proud of me for going to college for my probably worthless Liberal Arts Degree, and he feels bad for me because I require food to live. I feel guilty about this because, even though he's not poor, he's still not rich. He can't do cool things like buy diamonds in bulk, or fly to France just because he wants an authentic crêpe. Although, I was once told that since there are two bathrooms in his house, he is rich. Maybe he is rich! Maybe I've been rich my whole entire life, but I was too used to the idea of two people being able to pee at the same time, that I never realized.

There are four bathrooms in my apartment, so we must be incredibly rich. I should probably start wearing gold chains and diamonds on my face at all time so people know She has more than one bathroom in her home. Sure, at the same time I'll be ordering off the dollar menu at McDonald's, and wearing flipflops I bought at Old Navy for $2.50, but they'll know. They'll know that my roommates and I can all pee at the same time, and that is what matters.