There are currently five cats living at my mom's house. These cats are named Captain Falcon, Mommy Kitty, Baby Kitty With a White Face, That Other Baby Kitty, The Baby Kitty Who Doesn't Come Out much.
CAPTAIN FALCON.
Captain Falcon is the only cat who is supposed to be here, and he's only kind of supposed to be here.
Falcon is the cat that I got Jason for Christmas in July of 2009.
We were in some summer volunteer program because, even though it was absolutely annoying and it made me hate everyone, the "100%" Bright Futures required we "give back to the community." In this program, a representative of the SPCA of Orlando spoke to us volunteers about animals, and how there are a lot of them, and how everyone should spay and neuter everything so they don't get more of them. I think there were pictures of cats.
Anyway, the man told us that there were so many cats that they lowered the price of the cats. The SPCA doesn't euthanize animals; they put them on sale.
I wanted one. Actually, I wanted all of them, but it was more likely I would get one.
I asked that man so many questions that by the end of his presentation, he seemed kind of annoyed, and he kept laughing at me.
Sometimes, this stupid volunteer program would take us on "field trips," that were usually hot, gross experiences that made me want to cry and take advantage of my self-diagnosed anemia. But! There was one day, after the man talked to us, when we were all going to go to the SPCA, and some animal sanctuary thingey. This is the day Jason and I, ironically, missed to adopt his (OUR) cat.
We went to the wrong shelter, though, because apparently the SPCA is right next to the actual Orange County Animal Shelter, where they do euthanize animals. Initially I was annoyed. We're going to end up paying more because there isn't a sale here!! Then I remembered that poor Captain Falcon probably would have DIED if we'd gone to the SPCA instead because he's just a regular boring-looking tabby, and he also sneezed when we got him (He had a kitty cold from being in a shelter, and it cost me over $100 in vet bills and special cat food and baby Tylenol and nasal spray).
Since Jason and I were seventeen years old, we couldn't adopt a pet from the shelter. After begging my mom, and convincing her that our new cat would definitely come with us to college, she reluctantly agreed to sign the adoption papers.
Unfortunately, animal-friendly apartments cost a lot more, and are a lot less convenient for students than non-animal-friendly apartments. So! I waited until the right moment to ask my mom if she'd take Falcon in.... What she said in response to this question was "I don't want to, Haley, but my name's on the damn adoption papers." What she meant was "I love kitties, and I will not let a poor kitty go hungry, or back to a shelter where he could DIE."
A year later, Mommy loves Captain Falcon and says things like "Who's my pretty boyyy?" as she scratches his head.
MOMMY KITTY.
Anyway, Mommy Kitty and her Babies.
These kitties were discovered (kind of) last Saturday, June 25th.
Jason and I went to my mom's house and I saw a little, adorable, grey-and-orangeish cat go under the house when we walked through the gate.
Me: Mommy! There's a stray kitty out there!
Mommy: Yea, it's been here for a while. It eats Falcon's food.
Me: It had a scratch on its leg!
Mommy: Falcon cornered it a couple of days ago.
[Later, I looked out the kitchen window and saw it on the porch, eating Falcon's food.]
Me: IT'S ADORABLE. And it looks like a girl! And it's tiny! Mommy, look! She has orange eyes and she's so pretty!
Mommy: No! I don't want to!
Me: Because you'll feel bad and feed her!
Mommy: [Looks] Aww, I hope Falcon didn't hurt her!
Me: You should catch her and get her fixed so she doesn't have babies. You can get it done for free since she's a stray.
Mommy: I don't have time for that.
KITTENS.
After a couple days of my mom feeding the stray kitty, it is discovered that there are babies. There are three babies, and they are adorable, and fluffy, and two of them prance around sometimes, and one of them stands on the steps to the back door and looks around a lot during the day. And they eat all of the food. Because they are growing, and it's adorable.
Earlier tonight, while mommy and I were watching Modern Family, I said,
Isn't it adorable that the kittens probably followed their mommy to our house, so there were kittens walking in a line, like ducks, to the house?!
Mommy: They were probably born here. Ken's kids found a skeleton outside.
I was horrified.
Me: ..What.
Mommy: Yea, she probably had them here. That was probably the runt.
Me: You think she killed her baby and ate it?
Mommy: No, I think she let the runt die. It was weak, and she had to feed the other babies.
Me: You think she let her baby die and then she ate it?
Mommy: I don't know, Haley...
Me: You should have saved it! You should have known there were babies! You could have fed it kitten formula from a bottle, and it would have been so cute!
Mommy: Haley, how could I have known? I didn't even know they were here until a week ago.
Me: We could have raised a baby kitten! Now I'm depressed!
Then she told me to "stop thinking about it, then!" because apparently it's just that easy. Apparently people can just stop thinking about mommy kitties eating their baby to produce milk for the babies she chose to not let DIE.
And now I'm afraid to go outside and look at the kittens because I know the mother cat is capable of neglect and cannibalism, and I am terrified.
Really, though, I think the most disturbing part in all this is how nonchalant my mom was about it. Like Oh, yea, you know that cat you think is so cute? Well, she ate her baby. And then she left its skeleton there to be found by small, innocent children. But whatev, it's no biggie. Also, you'll probably have nightmares later.
The cat on the left, on the blocks, is a baby. The one on the right, in the grass, is the alleged cannibal.
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