This is some thing I wrote for Creative Writing, then put it on here. Wooooo! The directions were to write a scene about something that I find boring.
Pretty much anything that is required of me is boring. Homework? It’s awful, and everything on the internet is more interesting. Cleaning my bathroom? Why can’t there be more dancing and show tunes involved? Cooking for myself? That’s so uninteresting, I think I’ll just starve instead. I’d rather stare at my ceiling and find shapes in the little popcorn texture things. Who needs food when making it is boring?
When I have homework, reading something terrible for my lit class, for example, I put it off until I absolutely can’t put it off any longer because it’s midnight of the day it’s due. Because it’s so boring and awful and I hate it. Why do I care about this thing that someone wrote that I’m going to completely forget about a day later? The answer to that question is: I do not care. I just don’t.
Because I don’t care, this is what usually happens the night that I have to do homework:
7 PM
Me: I should probably start reading that thing….
The Internet: Guess what I have! Pictures of cats! :)
Me: Oh, man! I love cats!
9 PM
Me: Oh yea! I have homework! I really better get on that.
The Internet: Have you checked Memebase today?
Me: No, but I really should do this homework….
The Internet: But… there are funny things for you to look at.
Me: Funny things? I love funny things!
11 PM
Me: Alright. I need to read that boring thing now.
The Internet: lol why would you do that? Your facebook “friends” are doing and saying things you don’t actually care about! You need to read about that. Also! Tumblr is looking pretty good rite about meow.
Me: Oh, Internet! You always know what I should do.
1 AM
Me: Oh no! I’m tired and I still haven’t started reading…. I have to hurry up and do that before I go to bed!
The Internet: Youtube….
Me: There’s nothing that interesting on Youtube! I need to do my homework!
The Internet: Hey! Look what I found! A Wikipedia entry of that thing you were assigned! And I found Youtube!
Me: Wow, cool!
3 AM
Me: I need to read, forreal. That Wikipedia entry wasn’t good enough, I need to actually experience the reading for myself.
My Bed: I miss youuuuuu.
Me: Awww, okay.
This actually sums up how I handle anything that’s boring.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Happy LOL You're Alone Day!
SURPRISE! THERE'S A SHIT TON OF PROFANITY IN THIS UP IN THIS BITCH.
Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and you know what that means! If you're in a relationship, you'll probably be receiving some generic stuffed animal and required "love making." If you're single, you'll probably be receiving some "Happy Valentine's Day!" texts from friends who don't know how to check your relationship status on your Facebook. And if you get drunk, you might wake up the next morning to "YOU'RE HIDEOUS AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU," written on your bathroom mirror in red lipstick.
If you're alone (LOLLOLOLOL) like me, try to remember this: You're saving yourself at least $15 worth of candy, and at least five minutes worth of card writing time. That's a success, if I've ever seen one. And I have.
Here are some tips for getting through Valentine's Day as a single gal:
1. Don't give a fuck. That's what I do. Every day of my life.
2. Hang out with a single, female friend, go to the movies to see a romantic comedy, and scream "THIS MOVIE IS FEEDING YOU LIIEEESSSSSSS!" Also, don't give a fuck.
3. Get drunk. But not too drunk. See the first paragraph of this post.
4. Tell yourself that Valentine's Day is a "fake holiday made up by the greeting card and candy companies."
5. Fly a kite (I don't know. I'm just hoping it'll be windy tomorrow. I like kites).
6. Cake your face with makeup, sit in the tub with the water running, and cry your face off. Still, though, don't give a fuck.
7. Remember how much money you're saving. At least a dollar, probably. That's a lot. We're in a recession, people.
8. Write terrible poetry on your bedroom walls in crayon. Or your own blood. Whatever works for you.
9. If you see anyone holding any flowers, at all, rip them from that person's hands and stomp on them. If you can't be happy, NO ONE CAN.
10. Give yourself a manicure. Your cuticles have been looking terrible lately. How are you supposed to get a date with hands like that? No wonder you're single.
These tips should help you out a lot. Even if you're a guy, you can probably use them. Especially the kite-flying one. And instead of caking your face with makeup, just put a lot of product in your hair, and cry in the shower.
You're welcome!
Valentine's Day is tomorrow, and you know what that means! If you're in a relationship, you'll probably be receiving some generic stuffed animal and required "love making." If you're single, you'll probably be receiving some "Happy Valentine's Day!" texts from friends who don't know how to check your relationship status on your Facebook. And if you get drunk, you might wake up the next morning to "YOU'RE HIDEOUS AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU," written on your bathroom mirror in red lipstick.
If you're alone (LOLLOLOLOL) like me, try to remember this: You're saving yourself at least $15 worth of candy, and at least five minutes worth of card writing time. That's a success, if I've ever seen one. And I have.
Here are some tips for getting through Valentine's Day as a single gal:
1. Don't give a fuck. That's what I do. Every day of my life.
2. Hang out with a single, female friend, go to the movies to see a romantic comedy, and scream "THIS MOVIE IS FEEDING YOU LIIEEESSSSSSS!" Also, don't give a fuck.
3. Get drunk. But not too drunk. See the first paragraph of this post.
4. Tell yourself that Valentine's Day is a "fake holiday made up by the greeting card and candy companies."
5. Fly a kite (I don't know. I'm just hoping it'll be windy tomorrow. I like kites).
6. Cake your face with makeup, sit in the tub with the water running, and cry your face off. Still, though, don't give a fuck.
7. Remember how much money you're saving. At least a dollar, probably. That's a lot. We're in a recession, people.
8. Write terrible poetry on your bedroom walls in crayon. Or your own blood. Whatever works for you.
9. If you see anyone holding any flowers, at all, rip them from that person's hands and stomp on them. If you can't be happy, NO ONE CAN.
10. Give yourself a manicure. Your cuticles have been looking terrible lately. How are you supposed to get a date with hands like that? No wonder you're single.
These tips should help you out a lot. Even if you're a guy, you can probably use them. Especially the kite-flying one. And instead of caking your face with makeup, just put a lot of product in your hair, and cry in the shower.
You're welcome!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Hurpy Ner Yur!
Happy New Year's, everybody!
I feel like this is really going to be my year, and I mean that in the most cliché way possible. The reason for this is that I'm going to get all my resolutions DOWN. I'm going to be the most accomplished girl in my entire bedroom.
Here is my list, in no particular order:
1. Eat food every day, on at least two separate occasions.
2. Remember how to spell"occassions" "ocassions" "occasions."
3. Wake up on December 22nd.
4. Exercise for at least two minutes a day.
5. Stop consuming so much caffeine.
6. Use relative terms to your own advantage more often.
7. Read some books, sometimes.
8. Be less of a bitch.
9. Stop cursing so goddamn much.
10. Write at least five posts for this blog.
I'm already doing pretty well on a few of these, so I can really see myself sticking with them.
I've never made any new year's resolutions, ever, so I feel kind of crazy starting out with such difficult goals. I believe in myself, though.
The energy I get from consuming food should cancel out the energy I lose from not consuming as much caffeine as I'm used to, so I should still be able to focus on not telling people to shut the fuck up while I read a book and run on the tread mill.
So 2012 is going to be my year. I guess it can be your year, too, but you'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. And good luck doing that because I'm going to be so fit and positive and alive on December 22nd, that you might as well not even try. There will only be ten days left in the year, so what is the point, really?
I'd work on sharing more, but there's just not room on my list. I wanted to keep it simple at ten items, and all the others are so important. So, yea. Sorry.
I feel like this is really going to be my year, and I mean that in the most cliché way possible. The reason for this is that I'm going to get all my resolutions DOWN. I'm going to be the most accomplished girl in my entire bedroom.
Here is my list, in no particular order:
1. Eat food every day, on at least two separate occasions.
2. Remember how to spell
3. Wake up on December 22nd.
4. Exercise for at least two minutes a day.
5. Stop consuming so much caffeine.
6. Use relative terms to your own advantage more often.
7. Read some books, sometimes.
8. Be less of a bitch.
9. Stop cursing so goddamn much.
10. Write at least five posts for this blog.
I'm already doing pretty well on a few of these, so I can really see myself sticking with them.
I've never made any new year's resolutions, ever, so I feel kind of crazy starting out with such difficult goals. I believe in myself, though.
The energy I get from consuming food should cancel out the energy I lose from not consuming as much caffeine as I'm used to, so I should still be able to focus on not telling people to shut the fuck up while I read a book and run on the tread mill.
So 2012 is going to be my year. I guess it can be your year, too, but you'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands. And good luck doing that because I'm going to be so fit and positive and alive on December 22nd, that you might as well not even try. There will only be ten days left in the year, so what is the point, really?
I'd work on sharing more, but there's just not room on my list. I wanted to keep it simple at ten items, and all the others are so important. So, yea. Sorry.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Presents!
The Holidays are only about two months away, and that means it's time to bother your friends and family for a bunch of stuff you'll probably never use again.
If you can't think of anything, you are in luck! I've put together a list of the tools that are apparently all you need for some particular skills and hobbies. These are great because you could potentially make back the cost of your gift and buy the friend who bought it for you a cup of coffee or something else fancy.
You're welcome.
Photographer
- SLR camera
- Fisheye lens
- Black and white filter
- Photoshop
- A Flickr account
- A Facebook page for your photography skillz. This one is essential (Maybe even more so than the SLR camera. We all have phones, amirite?) because it will help you book jobs like your mom's best friend's wedding, and your dad's cousin's dog's birthday.
T-shirt Designer
- MS Paint
- A Threadless account
Hair Stylist
- A pair of children's craft scissors
- A comb
- The internet
Fashion Model
- Every season of America's Next Top Model on DVD.
- A face
Artist (lyk with paint)
- Paint
- A canvas
- Paint brushes (This one is actually optional! You could always use your hands, or even your face or butt)
- An Etsy account
Writer
- Notebook (As in a small laptop)
- A black beret
- A black turtle neck
- $500 Starbucks gift card
Singer
- Karaoke Revolution
- A webcam
- A Youtube account
Blogger
- A computer
-The internet
I hope this helps everyone!
If you can't think of anything, you are in luck! I've put together a list of the tools that are apparently all you need for some particular skills and hobbies. These are great because you could potentially make back the cost of your gift and buy the friend who bought it for you a cup of coffee or something else fancy.
You're welcome.
Photographer
- SLR camera
- Fisheye lens
- Black and white filter
- Photoshop
- A Flickr account
- A Facebook page for your photography skillz. This one is essential (Maybe even more so than the SLR camera. We all have phones, amirite?) because it will help you book jobs like your mom's best friend's wedding, and your dad's cousin's dog's birthday.
T-shirt Designer
- MS Paint
- A Threadless account
Hair Stylist
- A pair of children's craft scissors
- A comb
- The internet
Fashion Model
- Every season of America's Next Top Model on DVD.
- A face
Artist (lyk with paint)
- Paint
- A canvas
- Paint brushes (This one is actually optional! You could always use your hands, or even your face or butt)
- An Etsy account
Writer
- Notebook (As in a small laptop)
- A black beret
- A black turtle neck
- $500 Starbucks gift card
Singer
- Karaoke Revolution
- A webcam
- A Youtube account
Blogger
- A computer
-The internet
BONUS!!!
How to earn the title "Genius"
-Acquire a solved Rubik's Cube and show it to everyone you know. I hope this helps everyone!
Friday, September 30, 2011
"I'm going to kill you."
Since the first time I took a standardized test I knew that when one person coughs in a quiet room, everyone does.
When that first person coughs, who is genuinely in possession of an irritated throat, almost every other person in the room realizes that Wow, my throat is also full of phlegm. HACKHACKHACKRRRGRGRGRRRGGGRLLLLLLL SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF.
The number of people whose throats are clogged gradually increases every five or so seconds.
At first its just one person. Then it's three. Then it's six. Then it's ten. Then it's twenty. Then it's sixty.
And then I want everyone to die.
I don't know why this happens. I also don't know if it has an official name, so I will just call it "Why Are You Doing That? Please Stop Living."
This phenomenon is seriously distracting. Chemistry is already incredibly boring, so how am I supposed to pay attention when there are seventy people in the room "HACKHACKHACKBLLLARGHRRGRGG"ing every two seconds? How am I supposed to not cry loudly in protest?
I'll tell you how I'm supposed to not do that!
Well, I'm not supposed to pay attention.
I'll tell you how I'm supposed to distract myself from sobbing into my notebook!
By drawing pictures like this:
Yes, I drew that.
With my own hands.
Can you believe it?
Probably not.
And yes, I am the only one in my class with hair.
Anyway, I also distract myself by fantasizing about tossing hundreds of cough drops into the air in all directions, in hopes they will fall into those terrible people's open mouths, asphyxiating at least all of them.
If this sounds violent and hateful to you, you've obviously never experienced Why Are You Doing That? Please Stop Living. You are welcome to attend my chemistry class any Tuesday or Thursday. Perhaps we can share tips on holding back tears of both rage and despair. Perhaps we can take turns whispering "I'm going to kill you," to the people nearest to us who are participating in this horrible event.
Perhaps we can leave early and get some tea.
When that first person coughs, who is genuinely in possession of an irritated throat, almost every other person in the room realizes that Wow, my throat is also full of phlegm. HACKHACKHACKRRRGRGRGRRRGGGRLLLLLLL SNIFF SNIFF SNIFF.
The number of people whose throats are clogged gradually increases every five or so seconds.
At first its just one person. Then it's three. Then it's six. Then it's ten. Then it's twenty. Then it's sixty.
And then I want everyone to die.
I don't know why this happens. I also don't know if it has an official name, so I will just call it "Why Are You Doing That? Please Stop Living."
This phenomenon is seriously distracting. Chemistry is already incredibly boring, so how am I supposed to pay attention when there are seventy people in the room "HACKHACKHACKBLLLARGHRRGRGG"ing every two seconds? How am I supposed to not cry loudly in protest?
I'll tell you how I'm supposed to not do that!
Well, I'm not supposed to pay attention.
I'll tell you how I'm supposed to distract myself from sobbing into my notebook!
By drawing pictures like this:
With my own hands.
Can you believe it?
Probably not.
And yes, I am the only one in my class with hair.
Anyway, I also distract myself by fantasizing about tossing hundreds of cough drops into the air in all directions, in hopes they will fall into those terrible people's open mouths, asphyxiating at least all of them.
If this sounds violent and hateful to you, you've obviously never experienced Why Are You Doing That? Please Stop Living. You are welcome to attend my chemistry class any Tuesday or Thursday. Perhaps we can share tips on holding back tears of both rage and despair. Perhaps we can take turns whispering "I'm going to kill you," to the people nearest to us who are participating in this horrible event.
Perhaps we can leave early and get some tea.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Whaaaaaat
Remember when I said I'd have more things to write about when school started?
Well, I was wrong!
Everything's as boring as usual!
My days now consist of waking up at around 11 AM, getting to the bus stop by 11:30, going to class for an hour and fifteen minutes, maybe stopping by The Florida Review to do stuff, then riding the bus back to my apartment. I then sit in my apartment, maybe I clean sometimes, maybe I occasionally open a textbook or do some homework, but most of my time is spent avoiding things I have to do.
But! I don't do things that would prevent me from maybe doing the things I need to do, if I did feel like doing them.
For example, I don't like to read books when I have homework to do because it would be difficult for me to put down the great book and do homework, but it would be easy for me to stop looking at memebase and do homework. If I wanted to.
I never want to, though.
If that doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because you're not hugely lazy and weird like me.
Congratulations!
Anywho, I dislike responsibility! And deadlines!
When I have more than four assignments due a week, I get nervous and stressed out.
I'll have to spend at least five hours doing school work in only one week, and that is too much! How will I live? How will I find time to sit around, procrastinating? What will my sims do without me? What if there's a re-run of How I Met Your Mother on TV that I haven't seen yet? Will this work over-load KILL ME?
I unintentionally devote most of my time to worrying about how I will get the assignments done, rather than spending that time actually doing them. This results in last-minute online quiz-taking, and very little, to no (most often no) studying.
In fact, I have an exam tomorrow in Communications1000 (I have no idea if that's what it's actually called) and I've read, maybe, one out of the four chapters I will be tested on. I am positive that I will spend the night frantically speed-reading in hopes that I will absorb enough information to not fail. There will be tears, harsh words will be said to the textbook ("Oh REALLY, textbook? Because I don't CARE ABOUT THAT. I hate you!"), and things will probably be thrown. The night will end with me declaring "I'm not going to remember what I read when I'm tired anyway, so I might as well go to sleep," and then I will spend three hours watching television.
Also! I have a midterm exam in Chemistry in early October that I should absolutely be studying for already, but chemistry is stupid and I hate it.
The end!
By the way, the title of this post has nothing to do with the post itself. Hurray!
(Other than Whaaaaaat is up with the spacing in this post? I don't even)
Well, I was wrong!
Everything's as boring as usual!
My days now consist of waking up at around 11 AM, getting to the bus stop by 11:30, going to class for an hour and fifteen minutes, maybe stopping by The Florida Review to do stuff, then riding the bus back to my apartment. I then sit in my apartment, maybe I clean sometimes, maybe I occasionally open a textbook or do some homework, but most of my time is spent avoiding things I have to do.
But! I don't do things that would prevent me from maybe doing the things I need to do, if I did feel like doing them.
For example, I don't like to read books when I have homework to do because it would be difficult for me to put down the great book and do homework, but it would be easy for me to stop looking at memebase and do homework. If I wanted to.
I never want to, though.
If that doesn't make sense to you, it's probably because you're not hugely lazy and weird like me.
Congratulations!
Anywho, I dislike responsibility! And deadlines!
When I have more than four assignments due a week, I get nervous and stressed out.
I'll have to spend at least five hours doing school work in only one week, and that is too much! How will I live? How will I find time to sit around, procrastinating? What will my sims do without me? What if there's a re-run of How I Met Your Mother on TV that I haven't seen yet? Will this work over-load KILL ME?
I unintentionally devote most of my time to worrying about how I will get the assignments done, rather than spending that time actually doing them. This results in last-minute online quiz-taking, and very little, to no (most often no) studying.
In fact, I have an exam tomorrow in Communications1000 (I have no idea if that's what it's actually called) and I've read, maybe, one out of the four chapters I will be tested on. I am positive that I will spend the night frantically speed-reading in hopes that I will absorb enough information to not fail. There will be tears, harsh words will be said to the textbook ("Oh REALLY, textbook? Because I don't CARE ABOUT THAT. I hate you!"), and things will probably be thrown. The night will end with me declaring "I'm not going to remember what I read when I'm tired anyway, so I might as well go to sleep," and then I will spend three hours watching television.
Also! I have a midterm exam in Chemistry in early October that I should absolutely be studying for already, but chemistry is stupid and I hate it.
The end!
By the way, the title of this post has nothing to do with the post itself. Hurray!
(Other than Whaaaaaat is up with the spacing in this post? I don't even)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Unemployed Again
Remember when I said I had a job?
Well, I don't anymore.
That was a temporary job, and really only for the textbook season at the bookstore at school ("Textbook season" is about three weeks. During orientation, the training lady made it seem like even the temps would be staying until mid-October. I definitely would have applied to places already if I knew it would last for 1/3 the amount of time I had planned). I could have been hired as a seasonal employee, but I wasn't. Why? Well, I don't know because the email that let me know I would no longer be working for them was like "Don't ask why you were not hired as a seasonal employee." Which is super awesome. I love not knowing how or why I failed.
The way I found out I no longer have a job is pretty awesome too.
The weekly schedule is sent out every Wednesday, and this Wednesday's email said that if you're not on the schedule, with or without a shift, you are not being considered for a seasonal position.
I was not on the schedule.
The email said that maybe the reason people weren't hired is that their availability isn't what the bookstore needed, but that's not good enough for me. Especially since I'm not even allowed to ask.
It does kind of make sense to me, though. They hire about thirty temporary employees, and keep maybe five or ten of those. They don't want twenty or twenty-five people coming to the store and bothering them about why they were essentially fired, and honestly the managers probably wouldn't even recognize those people.
But at least a personalized email would have been nice. Not just a mass "Look fer ur name! If it's not there, we dont want u lol."
It made me feel like a not-person.
And the dumbest part of this all is that I was scheduled for today. I was supposed to work four and a half hours, after I learned that I am unwanted.
It's like if your boyfriend dumped you right before a movie and said "Don't even ask why. You knew I was seeing other people and that I probably wasn't looking for commitment," then asked you to stay and keep him company during the movie.
And you really wanted to see that movie, so you stayed, but you didn't put effort into talking to him or giving a shit.
The movie is money, and the not giving a shit and not putting in effort are the same in both situations.
I went to work because I want money, and also because I was just raised to be considerate and generally do what is asked of me.
I didn't put in effort, though.
I was pretty slow, and when people were rude to me I was like "K?" because what were they going to do? Complain and get me fired. LOLAIGHT.
It really just doesn't make much sense to me that they let me know I wasn't going to be employed there anymore, but expected me to work and be good at it.
ANYYWAAAY.
This middle-aged lady tried to buy a textbook with her husband's credit/debit card. You can't use someone else's card when they're not there, because how the hell do I really know you're his wife? Or maybe you are his wife, but he never said you could use it.
So no.
(SIDE NOTE. Someone's roommate used their card to buy $1000-ish worth of textbooks from the bookstore at school, so he could sell them to buy drugs. Forril. The druggy even had the guy's ID, but apparently they didn't even look alike. The guy whose card got stolen came in and complained and the bookstore was like "OH SORRY.")
I told the lady that she could use the ATM outside, if she knew his pin, and get cash to pay for the book because whatever they do outside the store has nothing to do with us.
Lady: NO! I'm not going to pay $5 to use the ATM!
Me: Yea, that is annoying that it costs so much.
[Actually I think it's $3, but whatevss]
Lady: Well I have a test tomorrow.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't let you use it unless he's here.
Lady: The OTHER bookstore let me use his card.
Me: They're not supposed to....
Lady: Fine. I'll just fail my test then!
Me: Sorry...
Lady: [Stomps off because she's a dumb brat who would apparently rather fail a test than spend $5 to use an ATM] You just lost a $200 sale!
Me: I don't care...
She didn't hear that last part because she had already stomped out of earshot.
I wouldn't have cared if she did, though.
It would have been awesome if I got reprimanded by a manager, so I could say "Fire me, then."
Other than being generally slow, wandering around sometimes, and just not giving much of a shit, I was a good employee. My drawer was off by one cent, and I'm pretty sure that's just because some fell on the floor when I was trying to get them out of the roll.
I cleaned up, asked if there was anything else to do, and got my bag checked before I left.
And I didn't even tell that fat, rude cashier that she's fat, rude, and shouldn't be wearing capris because they highlight her cankles.
THE POINT: I'm a pretty awesome employee, so whoever made the decision can go punch themselves in the butt.
Well, I don't anymore.
That was a temporary job, and really only for the textbook season at the bookstore at school ("Textbook season" is about three weeks. During orientation, the training lady made it seem like even the temps would be staying until mid-October. I definitely would have applied to places already if I knew it would last for 1/3 the amount of time I had planned). I could have been hired as a seasonal employee, but I wasn't. Why? Well, I don't know because the email that let me know I would no longer be working for them was like "Don't ask why you were not hired as a seasonal employee." Which is super awesome. I love not knowing how or why I failed.
The way I found out I no longer have a job is pretty awesome too.
The weekly schedule is sent out every Wednesday, and this Wednesday's email said that if you're not on the schedule, with or without a shift, you are not being considered for a seasonal position.
I was not on the schedule.
The email said that maybe the reason people weren't hired is that their availability isn't what the bookstore needed, but that's not good enough for me. Especially since I'm not even allowed to ask.
It does kind of make sense to me, though. They hire about thirty temporary employees, and keep maybe five or ten of those. They don't want twenty or twenty-five people coming to the store and bothering them about why they were essentially fired, and honestly the managers probably wouldn't even recognize those people.
But at least a personalized email would have been nice. Not just a mass "Look fer ur name! If it's not there, we dont want u lol."
It made me feel like a not-person.
And the dumbest part of this all is that I was scheduled for today. I was supposed to work four and a half hours, after I learned that I am unwanted.
It's like if your boyfriend dumped you right before a movie and said "Don't even ask why. You knew I was seeing other people and that I probably wasn't looking for commitment," then asked you to stay and keep him company during the movie.
And you really wanted to see that movie, so you stayed, but you didn't put effort into talking to him or giving a shit.
The movie is money, and the not giving a shit and not putting in effort are the same in both situations.
I went to work because I want money, and also because I was just raised to be considerate and generally do what is asked of me.
I didn't put in effort, though.
I was pretty slow, and when people were rude to me I was like "K?" because what were they going to do? Complain and get me fired. LOLAIGHT.
It really just doesn't make much sense to me that they let me know I wasn't going to be employed there anymore, but expected me to work and be good at it.
ANYYWAAAY.
This middle-aged lady tried to buy a textbook with her husband's credit/debit card. You can't use someone else's card when they're not there, because how the hell do I really know you're his wife? Or maybe you are his wife, but he never said you could use it.
So no.
(SIDE NOTE. Someone's roommate used their card to buy $1000-ish worth of textbooks from the bookstore at school, so he could sell them to buy drugs. Forril. The druggy even had the guy's ID, but apparently they didn't even look alike. The guy whose card got stolen came in and complained and the bookstore was like "OH SORRY.")
I told the lady that she could use the ATM outside, if she knew his pin, and get cash to pay for the book because whatever they do outside the store has nothing to do with us.
Lady: NO! I'm not going to pay $5 to use the ATM!
Me: Yea, that is annoying that it costs so much.
[Actually I think it's $3, but whatevss]
Lady: Well I have a test tomorrow.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't let you use it unless he's here.
Lady: The OTHER bookstore let me use his card.
Me: They're not supposed to....
Lady: Fine. I'll just fail my test then!
Me: Sorry...
Lady: [Stomps off because she's a dumb brat who would apparently rather fail a test than spend $5 to use an ATM] You just lost a $200 sale!
Me: I don't care...
She didn't hear that last part because she had already stomped out of earshot.
I wouldn't have cared if she did, though.
It would have been awesome if I got reprimanded by a manager, so I could say "Fire me, then."
Other than being generally slow, wandering around sometimes, and just not giving much of a shit, I was a good employee. My drawer was off by one cent, and I'm pretty sure that's just because some fell on the floor when I was trying to get them out of the roll.
I cleaned up, asked if there was anything else to do, and got my bag checked before I left.
And I didn't even tell that fat, rude cashier that she's fat, rude, and shouldn't be wearing capris because they highlight her cankles.
THE POINT: I'm a pretty awesome employee, so whoever made the decision can go punch themselves in the butt.
THE END.
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