Little Debbie Zombie

 

I MADE THIS.

Shortest Attention Span Ever

I believe that I have one of the attention spans of all time.

For this reason I easily get bored, make random noises, fidget, and yell at people for no reason.

If my mind isn't fully stimulated, I will make a noise like "Mrrrrrrrrrrrrr" for entire minutes, or until someone like Jason tells me STOP IT because it's ANNOYING. But I think it's hilarious.

I can't read books that aren't really, really interesting, have short chapters so that I feel like I've accomplished something, or have pictures for me to look at and say "OH HEY, THAT'S A NICE PICTURE," and find something hilarious about it, so I can laugh for ten minutes.


The only class I paid attention to AT ALL last semester was Creative Writing, and that's only because I know I can benefit from it immediately, and that's my major. In all my other classes, especially Humanistic Traditions II (because I don't care who painted that stupid painting! And I especially don't care where that stupid person lived!), I wanted to cry into my notebook, and then maybe kill myself. I'd draw dinosaurs, or cats, or bunnies all over my papers, trying my hardest not to yell "SHUT UP" at the professors, or that obnoxious girl who feels like she has to comment on everything ("OH HAI! Isn't this what A Tale of Two Cities is based off of? Because I read that just this semester in Literature, and it talked about the French Revolution, and YOU'RE talking about the French Revolution, and...").

Also, to entertain myself, I make ugly, weird faces at Jason. Once again, I think it's hilarious. 

 
AND IT IS. Look. That's so funny. Imagine seeing that in real life, on a real face. HA.



Having a short attention span is a real handicap. Though I mostly am able to control my impulses in public, I sometimes find myself almost yelling "I'm bored!" when I'm standing around, waiting in line, or waiting for anything in general. This makes people stare at me like I'm a weird child that just yelled something inappropriate like "I'm bored!"


I've always wondered if I had ADHD, but I never did anything about it because I'm also too lazy to go to the doctor. Plus, I didn't want to believe that I actually had a disorder. I was fine thinking that I was, instead, quirky, loud by choice, and just uninterested in most things. 
However, earlier I decided to take an online ADHD test. I got this reassuring result.

Bunny

Proper Grammar...

...I may or may not be using it on this blog.
The reason is that I could start wondering if that comma isn't supposed to go in front of 'because,' or if this is one of those weird instances where that's okay because you'd be reading it with a pause.
The wondering would turn into worrying, and the worrying would turn into horrible, terrible stress, and ten minutes after putting the comma in front of 'because,' I'd find myself crying on my bathroom floor.

Also, since this is to be read as if I were saying it, and not as if I were writing a formal essay for a class, I will do things like begin sentences with "And," and "AND SO," and "Then." I like starting sentences with these words, and I have to try pretty hard not to do it in papers for school. I think I've done it before, and my professor corrected me, and I tried to argue with him about it. I was defeated, though, and also sad. 

SO THERE.
Since I correct everyone on everything, it is pretty ironic and kind of stupid that I would be not absolutely sure that that comma can or can not go in front of that word, but that is how it is. Maybe when school starts, and it hasn't been over a month since I read a book that wasn't about a secret cat society, I'll use proper grammar.

I can't remember anything funny I've ever said

I was going to draw some pictures of me saying some of the funny things that I say all the time, but I can't remember any of them.
This is kind of odd because I know I say so many things that I think are hilarious

because I often find myself laughing while Jason is not.

I can't remember anything, though!

It's probably because everything I say is so spur of the moment that I can't remember or plan clever things!

THAT MUST BE IT.


Or maybe. Maybe the "funny things" I say are actually weird, nonsensical things that my brain chooses not to remember to protect its own dignity.

That's probably why I'm bad at math.

I'M FUNNY!

Sometimes I say things that I think are hilarious.

And then I look at Jason expectantly.

His lack of laughter makes me feel concerned.

And then he finally reminds me that I'm not funny.
And I feel sad.